


Unfinished Business

by jorlau



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon Fix-It, Spoilers, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28808157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jorlau/pseuds/jorlau
Summary: It really shouldn’t have been a surprise.Disappearing without warning is what Carmen Sandiego does best, the one constant in the Crimson Ghost’s unpredictable sometimes-criminal career. Nor can Julia say she had any reason to expect that Carmen would notify her before absconding again; even Zack and Ivy, who as far as Julia can tell are the closest thing Carmen has to family, didn’t get an in-person farewell.It still hurts.Or, in which Julia is not okay and seeks closure after the events of the S4 final showdown.
Relationships: Julia "Jules" Argent/Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep
Comments: 247
Kudos: 393





	1. Julia's Problems

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I haven't actually got a plan for this fic, which is not my usual MO, so I don't know what the update schedule or final length will end up being. Treat it as an angsty one-shot for now, though I intend to add a happy-ish ending by hook or by crook because dammit, we deserve that.

It really shouldn’t have been a surprise.

Disappearing without warning is what Carmen Sandiego does best, the one constant in the Crimson Ghost’s unpredictable sometimes-criminal career. Nor can Julia say she had any reason to expect that Carmen would notify _her_ before absconding again; even Zack and Ivy, who as far as Julia can tell are the closest thing Carmen has to family, didn’t get an in-person farewell.

It still hurts.

At first, she tries to comfort herself with the hope that Carmen will contact her. That’s how it’s been throughout their strange friendship, after all — Julia works, and then suddenly Carmen Sandiego is working with her, and then as suddenly the thief is gone, and the pattern repeats. But weeks pass and turn to months and there’s no change, and that makes sense — there are no VILE threats to draw Carmen back into action any more — but it also leaves Julia feeling vaguely as though Carmen has broken an unspoken agreement between them. As though, after all the complicated weaving from side to side the two of them went through, _this_ is the betrayal that will tear them apart. Carmen’s supposed to come back, and she doesn’t.

Then Julia tries to reason with herself. Tells herself that she has no right to feel betrayed, that Carmen owes her nothing. What claim does Julia have on Carmen? They worked together sometimes, and against each other sometimes; they bonded over their shared love of knowledge, and their shared values; Julia thinks it’s fair to say they were friends. (And Julia was definitely attracted to Carmen, which she would feel much better about if she were sure of whether Carmen reciprocated, but it wasn’t as if they were romantically involved. Carmen owes her nothing on that front either.) Still, friends fall out of touch. It might be somewhat impolite to disappear without saying goodbye to a friend, especially if the last time you conversed with that friend you were brainwashed and trying to physically injure them, but it’s not a serious matter.

(Carmen murders Julia in far too many of Julia’s dreams, still. But Carmen has no way to know that, because they haven't talked.)

Still, the feelings persist. Hurt, at the feeling of being discarded. Shame, at having allowed herself to believe that Carmen cared more for her than was evidently the case. And a lot of anger. Anger at Carmen for leaving her so coldly. Anger at the unfairness of the universe, where she could give her trust and affection to someone who could not or would not return the same in kind. Most of all, though, she feels anger at herself for not anticipating this pain. And running underneath it all is an undercurrent of misery because more than anything, she _misses_ Carmen. The thought of never again seeing that mischievous smirk, or hearing the warm affection in the thief’s teasing voice, is too horrible to contemplate.

Julia has never been good at dealing with emotions. She can analyse them, break them down into their component parts, assemble a history of each one, and write out a neat summary in her journal, but she doesn’t really know how to actually manage them. Mostly, she works on keeping them from affecting her work and hopes that they aren’t painfully obvious to everyone around her until the negativity fades into the background and she is, more or less, all right again.

It doesn’t work.

The longer the silence goes on, the more agitated Julia becomes. Every flash of red in the corner of her eye becomes a surge of hope, to be transformed into a spike of shame when she looks at the disturbance and sees what it is (a car, a banner, a child’s toy, _not Carmen_.) Zack and Ivy’s habit, picked up presumably from Carmen herself, of calling Julia “Jules” makes her heart throb painfully. Hieroglyphs, runes, ancient artefacts, even historical documents relating to subjects that somehow connect in Julia’s memory to Carmen can bring up unexpected bursts of grief. It’s a good thing that she isn’t a historian any more, she thinks bitterly after a chance encounter with a familiar-looking string of pictograms leaves her blinking back tears; crying over her primary sources would be a serious obstacle to getting any work done. As it is, she’s barely able to cope.

It’s when Devineaux pulls her aside, as discreetly as he knows how (which is still, unfortunately, not at all,) and tells her that he’s worried about her health that she realizes she can’t continue this way. Devineaux may be more observant than he used to be, may show genuine respect for and interest in her knowledge and skills, but he’s still a remarkably dense man — if he can tell that she’s struggling, it must be glaringly obvious. She needs to solve her problems. So that night, she sits down and begins a fresh analysis of her situation, carefully enumerating them.

  1. Carmen Sandiego has disappeared. Presumably, she at least initially went to Buenos Aires, and in fact Julia still has the address of Carmen’s long-lost mother from her research into the topic, but at this point Carmen might be anywhere.
  2. Carmen Sandiego has not called, written to, or otherwise made contact with Julia since this disappearance.
  3. Carmen Sandiego did not say goodbye to Julia before leaving.
  4. Carmen Sandiego keeps haunting Julia’s nightmares.
  5. Julia is probably in love with Carmen Sandiego.
  6. All evidence suggests that Carmen Sandiego is not in love with Julia.
  7. Carmen Sandiego is not there, so Julia cannot verify this conjecture.
  8. Above all else, Julia needs to talk to Carmen.
  9. Carmen _is not there_.



Julia goes back over her list, scribbling side notes in the vague hope that more possible solutions will present themselves, but really, it seems to come down to one simple point. Julia needs to talk to Carmen, and the only way to make that happen is to return to a task she thought she’d left behind.

She needs to locate Carmen Sandiego.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What no this isn't a metaphor for the experience of being queerbaited, what would make you think that?


	2. Chaos Ensues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Julia goes looking for Carmen and gets found instead.

Beginning with the assumption that Carmen went to Buenos Aires leaves a lot of possibilities open. Julia decides the best way to start narrowing them down is to casually interrogate Zack and Ivy, so she invites the gumshoes to join her for lunch, as normal coworkers often do.

“Carm’s fine,” Ivy says before Julia can even hint at the subject of the siblings’ former employer. “We haven’t talked to her since before she left, but Player’s been in touch a couple of times, and he says she’s doing better than he would have expected.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Julia says, a little more stiffly than she would like. “But has Player told you where she is? What she’s doing?”

Twin shrugs. “Getting to know her mom?” Zack offers. “She was last month, anyway.”

“It’s been a few weeks since we talked to Player,” Ivy adds. “And _Zack_ used most of that convo to talk about himself.”

“Hey, Carm would want to know that stuff!”

“Nobody cares about your new push-up record, bro.”

“So neither of you currently knows the whereabouts of Carmen,” Julia cuts in, recognizing the beginning of a long digression.

“Nope.”

“Sorry.”

“But she _was_ in Argentina, as I suspected,” Julia continues, thinking out loud. “Ordinarily, I would assume she would have moved on, but obviously with VILE inactive and as she is no longer considered a wanted criminal, her MO may be quite different. If her meeting with her mother went well, as you indicate, then presumably the two are at least in regular contact…”

“You trying to capture her again? Ow!” Zack glares at Ivy, who Julia deduces must have kicked him under the table.

“Of course not,” Julia knows she’s blushing. “Carmen is my friend. I cannot help wishing to know her doings.”

“Right,” Ivy’s tone is sceptical. “Well, next time we hear from Player, we’ll tell him you’d like a call too.”

“That… would be appreciated,” Julia says, surprised by the offer. “Please do.”

Going through Player, whenever he next contacts his former colleagues, is actually a solid and straightforward plan, but Julia doesn’t want to depend on it. When she’s finished with work that day, she returns to her list of problems and starts making more notes.

Carmen is in touch with Player. Julia could make another coded blog post, hope the hacker sees it and conveys a message. Really, it wouldn’t even need to be coded — “Player, please contact me” would do. But that has little material advantage over simply letting Zack and Ivy pass her message on, and she suspects that the Chief will notice any odd postings from her. Not that the Chief would object to her trying to contact Carmen at this point, but it’s an awkward workplace conversation Julia would prefer to avoid. Overall, not a plan worth focusing on.

Carmen has been in Buenos Aires, and has made some form of connection with her mother, Carlotta Valdez. Julia knows Carlotta Valdez’s address, as well as some biographical data; it would be an easy enough matter to make contact with her and try to arrange to meet Carmen that way. The idea of going through a stranger, and Carmen’s mother at that, feels uncomfortable, though. If only Julia knew that Carmen would be there! Still, it’s an idea that Julia can act upon. She’ll have to deal with the awkwardness.

Julia opens her backup of the case file that she assembled for Carmen all those months ago, reviews what she knows about Carlotta Valdez. Scans through the timeline of events that separated mother from daughter… and there it is, the one date when Julia is _sure_ Carmen Sandiego will be with Carlotta Valdez. Just weeks away.

Julia doesn’t give herself time to second-guess the idea. She sets aside her notes and goes to put in a request for time off. Then she starts looking for flights to Buenos Aires.

ACME agents get considerably nicer travel experiences than ordinary people, but Julia is still tired, overstimulated, and more than a little disoriented by the time change when she gets off the plane. She’s just wondering why she thought this was a good idea, and wishing she hadn’t committed to spending an entire week in a city that, as beautiful and interesting as it is, she really only went to because Carmen might be there, when someone taps her on the shoulder.

“Jules! You made it!”

Julia knows that voice. She whirls around, and Carmen Sandiego is beaming at her. Julia is too bewildered to do anything but stare.

Carmen looks just as Julia remembers her: warm and mischievous and unfairly collected. She takes Julia’s luggage before the confused Julia can think to object and guides her purposely out of the airport and into a waiting car. The luggage is stowed and Carmen is settling into the driver’s seat before Julia understands how it happens, and that’s familiar too — like being a leaf caught in a hurricane, swept along by the sheer force of Carmen’s confidence. It’s the way she’s felt about Carmen Sandiego ever since the thief first coolly appropriated Devineaux’s seat and called her “Jules.” It’s both frustrating to still be one step behind — now when she has spent so much time and energy trying to catch up! — and oddly… comforting.

“How did you know I was coming?” Julia finally manages to ask, when they’re already en route to her hotel — Carmen apparently knows which one she booked a room in, which Julia belatedly realises should also be surprising.

“Zack and Ivy told Player that you were taking time off,” Carmen says nonchalantly. “And that you had been asking about me. So I had him find out which flight you were on.”

“You deduced that I intended to try to meet with you on your birthday,” Julia realises. “And you decided to meet me on your terms instead.”

“You’re good, Jules,” Carmen flashes her a familiar smirk.

“I apologise,” Julia says, looking down. “It was inappropriate of me to come here. I just—”

“Whoa, Jules, hold up,” Carmen cut in. “Today we’re getting you settled at the hotel and going out for dinner. Tomorrow I’m picking you up and you’re coming to help me with my first-ever birthday celebration. My mother is looking forward to meeting you. And after that, I’ll be your tour guide for the rest of your stay. You’re definitely a welcome visitor, I promise you.”

“Oh,” Julia says blankly. Carmen isn’t telling her to stay away. Carmen wants to spend time with her. Carmen, inexplicably, is behaving as though Julia’s desperate quest is an ordinary, everyday vacation. Julia wonders whether the former thief told her mother their backstory, or if she just announced casually that an old friend would be in town for the week. Julia thinks she’s in the eyewall of the hurricane now, being spun at dizzying speeds around the answers she seeks. Carmen has always been a confusing enigma, but never more so than now.

“I don’t understand,” she says before she thinks. “I mean — thank you, of course, but — why?”

“You said it yourself,” Carmen’s smile is crooked. It’s hard to be sure, with Carmen’s focus on the road, but Julia thinks she sees a trace of sadness in those striking eyes. “You’re my friend. I’ve… missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Julia says automatically.

“I guessed,” Carmen tells her wryly. “Most people don’t go quite so far out of their way to see people on a whim.”

“You didn’t say goodbye.” There it is, the big painful truth, the reason Julia took a week off work and flew to Argentina on the chance of finding Carmen. She knows it sounds like an accusation. Maybe it is.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Carmen’s tone is level, its normal playfulness muted. “Can we talk about that when I’m not driving, though? Buenos Aires may be known for its architecture and culture, but it’s also famous for its high rate of traffic accidents.”

“Of course,” Julia takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. Carmen focuses on driving. For what feels like an eternity, they sit in uncomfortable silence.

“Talking of traffic accidents,” Carmen finally says, the humour back in her voice, “how’s Devineaux?”

Julia can’t help laughing.

They make small talk for the rest of the drive. There are awkward moments, such as when Julia fails to skirt around the fact that Devineaux’s most recently-destroyed vehicle was wrecked by the brainwashed Carmen herself, but it’s bearable, even pleasant, and Julia finds herself calming despite the unresolved questions looming in her mind. Despite everything that’s happened, or perhaps more significantly everything that _hasn’t_ happened, since they last really talked, it’s still easy to relax and trust that Carmen knows what she’s doing, to believe without proof that there’s a good reason for all the things that Julia can’t understand.

And so, her carefully-formed plans in chaos, Julia surrenders to the unknown and puts her faith once again in Carmen Sandiego.


	3. Silence, Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and Carmen have a difficult conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably should have gotten someone to beta this one, but we are waist deep in the Big Angsty so I say we push on!

They make it to the hotel without incident. Julia decides to take a shower before she brings up the topic of Carmen’s departure again; for all the international travel she does for work, she still always feels grimy and uncomfortable after a long flight, and that in contrast with Carmen’s composed appearance will definitely not help with the difficult conversation ahead.

Julia does feel a surge of anxiety when, dressed in fresh clothing and feeling moderately close to human again, she prepares to exit the bathroom and face her friend. Part of her is sure, despite their conversation in the car, that Carmen will be gone again when Julia looks for her, vanishing like she has so many times before. But that is ridiculous. Steeling herself, Julia opens the door.

Carmen is still there, prowling lazily around the room, apparently inspecting the décor. She looks around when Julia enters, with a smile that makes Julia’s heart leap.

“Feel better?” Carmen asks, her gaze flickering over Julia in a way that Julia is quite sure is calculated to fluster her. Julia is suddenly very conscious of the bundle of dirty clothing she’s carrying, and hurries to put it away.

“Much better,” she says as calmly as she can, hoping that the former thief didn’t notice her blush before she turned away.

“Good,” Carmen’s voice is amused. She definitely noticed. Julia supposes she should have known better than to try to appear dignified when dealing with Carmen Sandiego. At least she doesn’t feel dirty any more.

Julia finishes tidying away her laundry and turns back to discover that Carmen is now lounging, sprawling really, sideways in a chair. Julia sits stiffly on the edge of the bed, clasps her hands in front of her to prevent herself from fidgeting, and tries to figure out what to say.

“I really am sorry,” Carmen volunteers.

Julia bites her lip. “I am sure you mean that, but I would still like an explanation. I know — at least I believe — you always have a good reason for your actions, even if I do not always know what it is.”

Carmen laughs, a short, mirthless sound. “You’re good, Jules, but you’re wrong in a couple of ways. First, I almost always have more than one reason for anything I do. And second…” she pauses, looking down for a moment, and when she raises her gaze to meet Julia’s again it’s as if she’s struggling to do so. “This time, none of my reasons were good.”

Julia finds herself without words again. She knows, intellectually, that Carmen is just a woman, as vulnerable and breakable as any other. Julia’s seen Carmen beaten, both by VILE and by the combined forces of ACME and a Swedish winter. But it’s still a shock to see Carmen Sandiego, for all her bravado and smoothness and charm, so clearly struggling with the same emotions that too often threaten to overwhelm Julia.

“It was easier with Zack and Ivy,” Carmen continues. “They’re family. Wherever I go, however long I don’t see them, they’ll still be family. Even after what I did when I was… evil. But you… I tried to write you a note, too. Wrote a lot of different versions, actually. But none of them were right.”

“So you decided silence was better?” It slips out before Julia thinks, the months of anger boiling over in one harsh sentence. She swallows, blinks her eyes against the hot prickle of tears, and shakes herself. She can’t fall apart so easily.

“I know,” Carmen’s voice is rueful. “I tried to look at it as doing you a favour. I’m — kind of a mess, right now. You didn’t need to deal with that, you’d be happier without me complicating your life, if you thought I was just a jerk maybe you’d get over me better. I knew it wasn’t true, but I kept trying to convince myself. And you know,” with a hint of the old mischievous smile, “how persuasive I can be when I try.”

“So you never considered that I might want to _help_?” Julia is definitely falling apart. She seems to have lost control of her mouth, which runs on without her conscious control. “That I might care enough about you to prefer to have my life ‘complicated’ if it could make yours easier? That having my last memory of you be—” she breaks off, unable to pursue that thought any further.

“I dream about that, you know,” Carmen says hoarsely. “How I hurt you, and my family. How I _could_ have hurt you. I wake up, a lot of nights, thinking I just murdered someone I love. Zack, Ivy, Gray, Shadowsan, you. Sometimes all of you. And the thing about those dreams is… they’re close to real. If things had gone slightly differently, they would be. I know none of you blame me. But if any of you had died… I could never forgive myself.”

“I dream about it too,” Julia can’t keep the sob out of her voice. She can’t look at Carmen any more, too afraid of seeing the feelings that Carmen Sandiego should never have. “I’m begging you to listen, to believe me, to trust me again, and you look at me and I see the emptiness in your eyes and know it’s not you, that I’m going to die….”

“Jules, I’m so sorry.” Carmen’s crying too. Julia looks up, and sees that Carmen has curled up into a ball, her arms around herself. It’s too much. Julia half-falls off the bed, kneeling to wrap Carmen in a clumsy hug. It’s an impossibly awkward position, even when Carmen unfolds and wraps her arms around Julia instead, but it’s the only possible course of action. Carmen must be comforted.

“It wasn’t you,” Julia insists. “You’re _good_. You would never have hurt me like that….”

“I did though,” Carmen counters. “I had to leave — I need to heal, I need to figure out who I am without VILE — but not saying anything to you was my choice. I hurt you. And I didn’t… I should have at least checked on you. Made sure you’d be okay. I messed up, Jules.”

“It’s all right,” says Julia, and finds she means it. The resentment, the sense of betrayal she’s been nursing since Carmen disappeared has melted away. Julia remembers the overwhelming guilt that seized her after almost getting Carmen killed in Stockholm, remembers building up the fear that Carmen would hate her forever for her mistake. What has hold of Carmen now is orders of magnitude larger. Of course Carmen couldn’t see how she was making the situation worse. She probably couldn’t see anything except her own fear and shame. Julia can’t blame her for running.

“No, it isn’t,” Carmen retorts. She sniffles and shifts position, not pulling away from Julia but moving to make their inconvenient pose more comfortable. “But maybe we can change that.”

Julia rubs what she hopes are soothing circles on Carmen’s back. “I have absolute confidence.”

Carmen’s chuckle is watery. “You always do. It’s one of your more adorable qualities.”

Julia isn’t sure what to do with that, so she sidesteps it. “It isn’t just me. You inspire confidence.”

“That _is_ why they call it a confidence trick,” Carmen points out. She releases Julia and stands, stretching artistically. It’s not very convincing — or perhaps Julia merely knows too well what’s hiding beneath the cocky attitude now — but it’s a start.

Julia stands, a little shaky on her feet. “It’s a little late to try to con me into thinking you’re a bad person, Ms. Sandiego.”

“Shame,” Carmen smirks. “I hear the ladies love a bad girl.”

Julia has to take a moment to come up with a non-incriminating response to that. “Fishing for compliments now?”

“Never hurts to try.” Carmen disappears through the bathroom door and returns with a damp washcloth. Slowly and carefully, she wipes the tears off of Julia’s face. Julia is reasonably certain her blush is warm enough to be felt through the coarse fabric.

“You are incorrigible,” she manages, though it’s more a squeak than the good-natured grumble she intended to produce.

“You love it,” Carmen grins, and ducks back into the bathroom to clean her own face, mercifully leaving Julia to recover. When Carmen returns, looking as neat and composed as though she hasn’t just been a sobbing mess mere minutes ago, Julia is almost not affected by the sight.

“All right. That’s enough angst for today. We should go get dinner,” Carmen’s tone brooks no argument. “The restaurant’s not far from here; how do you feel about a walk?”

Julia knows they’re going to have a lot more serious talking to do, soon. There are still a million pressing unanswered questions between them, some big and some small, all needing to be addressed. But for now, she lets herself be led out of the hotel and into the streets. She trusts that Carmen will still be there to talk more later.


	4. An Intense Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia learns more about Carmen's new family.

Dinner is almost normal, or what passes for normal when Carmen Sandiego is involved. Julia’s Spanish is limited to basic, European-accented phrases, and she’s too tired to remember most of them, so Carmen orders for both of them. (“I’m still adjusting to the dialect,” Carmen admits, though to Julia’s ear Carmen’s Spanish sounded smooth and practised.) The food is hearty and tasty, and the atmosphere in the restaurant is comfortable. Julia doesn’t remember when she last felt this relaxed.

They talk about safe topics at first: the history and culture of Argentina, which Carmen has evidently been studying in depth; the ancient history of South America more generally; the ancient history of other parts of the world as compared to South America, allowing for the effects of the region’s colonial legacy on scholarship; the difficulty of studying any ancient people based on archaeological evidence and limited or nonexistent written records. Ordinarily, Julia would be self-conscious talking so much about her pet subjects outside of an academic setting, but with Carmen she knows she doesn’t need to worry about talking too much or becoming boring. They’ve always had this in common, the enjoyment of acquiring and sharing knowledge about the world and its past.

It’s not until they’ve finished their meal and moved on to the dessert course that Julia realises she hasn’t actually learned anything about what Carmen has been doing since arriving here. Not about her mother, or her feelings about her birthplace now that she’s really spending time here for the first time in her life, or about preparing to celebrate her birthday for the first time. Julia has no doubt that Carmen intended this, but there are things she definitely needs to ask about.

“About tomorrow,” she says, focusing on the artistic patterning of the _dulce de leche_ and chocolate covering the fresh fruit on her plate to avoid making uncomfortable eye contact. “You said your mother was looking forward to meeting me — how much does she know about me?”

“She knows how we met, if that’s what you’re hinting at,” Carmen sounds amused. “You don’t have to worry about outing me.”

“I presume you mean as regards your previous career,” Julia says. She’s not going to say _international superthief_ in public, even if most of the people around are unlikely to understand, but the way Carmen worded that is actually ambiguous, considering that in their first meeting Julia definitely thought Carmen was making a rather bold overture. Clarification is prudent.

“That too,” Carmen says without missing a beat. “I haven’t told her everything, of course — a lifetime of memories is a lot to cover — but you don’t have to worry about accidentally telling her something I don’t want her to know.”

“And what about the rest of your family?” Julia asks. “I know she has legally adopted two of the orphans who were in her care, and I understand others currently reside with her. Is there anything I need to know about them?”

“There _will_ be a lot of children at the actual celebration,” Carmen acknowledges. “Most of them don’t speak English, so you probably won’t really have much direct interaction with them, but I hope you don’t mind the noise level. My brothers, specifically… Claudio’s English isn’t good enough for him to really communicate with you, but you’ll like him. He collects rocks and facts, especially about ocean creatures — did you know that the Greenland shark has the longest lifespan of any known vertebrate?”

“I did not,” Julia says. “How long do they live?”

“Somewhere between three and five hundred years, Claudio says.”

“I see,” Julia nods. “And your other brother?”

“Rodrigo. He’s… intense. And his English is pretty good, so be prepared to answer nosy questions and learn all about _his_ interests.”

“No fun fact to give me a hint?” Julia asks lightly.

“Did you know that Argentina was the first country in Latin America to legalise same-sex marriage, and the first in the world to allow transgender people to change their legal genders without a doctor’s note?”

“I knew the first of those, but not the second,” Julia says, a little taken aback.

“Rodrigo will probably fill you in on the details tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Julia is not sure how she feels about discussing the state of LGBTQ+ rights with the adolescent brother of the woman she’s transparently in love with, especially as part of meeting said woman’s mother.

“Relax,” Carmen tells her. “I’m not going to let anyone give you a hard time. Especially not when I can finally pull the ‘it’s my birthday’ card.”

“Are you excited?” Julia asks cautiously.

“I’m not sure,” Carmen admits. “I never knew my birthday when I was growing up, but they used to throw parties to celebrate my arrival on VILE Island. You know — the day my father died.”

Julia looks down at her now-empty plate, frowning. VILE really left their mark on Carmen, in ways Julia can’t even imagine, and she wonders how much more of the former thief’s happiness is still to be damaged by that corruption. Her hands clench to fists. “I’m sorry, Carmen.”

“It’s all right,” Carmen’s smile is crooked but real. “This will be different. I’m going to make sure of that.”

Julia doesn’t see how, but she isn’t going to say so.

It’s not until late the next morning that Carmen arrives to collect Julia from the hotel, giving Julia plenty of time to try to plan for the upcoming celebration. She the birthday gift she brought, a book on trickster gods around the world that reminded her so strongly of Carmen that she couldn’t bring herself to finish it; she has her most respectable non-uniform suit, which she hopes will make a good impression on Carmen’s mother; she has reviewed everything she knows about Argentina, the orphanage, and Carlotta Valdez so as to be prepared to ask appropriate questions. She only wishes she weren’t sweating so distressingly.

“I thought I’d introduce you to Mamá and the boys before the actual party,” Carmen informs her when they are finally on their way to the Valdez residence. “Give you a chance to get acquainted. Besides, Player’s set up a video call with… the rest of my family, and I want you there. You were part of Team Red for a while, after all.”

Julia isn’t sure she really counted as such, but if Carmen sees it differently, she’s happy to accept that.

Meeting Carlotta Valdez is less awkward than Julia expected.

“So, you are Julia!” the older woman exclaims, embracing Julia and kissing her cheeks in the local greeting that Julia is sure she will never become accustomed to. “It is so good to meet you. Carmen has spoken very highly of you.”

“It’s lovely to meet you as well, Ms. Valdez,” Julia murmurs.

“Call me Carlotta,” comes the immediate correction. And Carmen’s whirlwind presence evidently has some genetic origin, because before Julia knows quite how it happens she is inside, seated on a well-worn but comfortable sofa beside Carmen, and cradling a cup of coffee and a biscuit while Carlotta goes to summon her sons. Another moment and they burst into the room, and Julia is very glad she asked Carmen about them.

Claudio is a skinny, bespectacled boy of twelve. His dark, curly hair is long and dishevelled, and his plain button-up shirt is clean but rumpled. He looks absent-mindedly orderly. Rodrigo, on the other hand, is a mass of chaotic energy. A shock of bleached hair, tipped with blue, covers the top of his head; the sides are shaved to stubble. Sequinned suspenders are attached, probably needlessly, to his ripped jeans, and the bow tie at his throat is rainbow. His combat boots have rainbow laces, too, and there is a hint of glitter on his face. Carmen’s term “intense” was an understatement.

“Hello!” Rodrigo cries, bending gracefully to kiss Julia’s cheeks before turning to Carmen and saying something in rapid-fire Spanish that Julia cannot follow. She does catch, in a questioning tone, the phrase _tu novia_ and flushes — he thinks she’s Carmen’s girlfriend?

Carmen looks discomfited, and her response is sprinkled with “no” and a plea to not do… something.

Rodrigo rolls his eyes, says, “Carmen. Carmencita,” and another string of words that mean nothing to Julia, but are delivered in the put-upon manner of frustrated teens everywhere. He turns back to Julia, smiles, and says, “so, you are Carmen’s girlfriend! It is good that you are here; she has been absolutely…” he pauses, “pining away.”

“Rodrigo, enough,” Carlotta cuts in. “You do not want to give Julia a bad first impression of us, do you?”

“I am being friendly!” the boy protests innocently.

“You’re being impossible,” Carmen grumbles, though she sounds more affectionate than angry. “I’m going to call Player.”

Rodrigo subsides, but gives Julia a wink when Carmen turns away to extract her laptop. Julia looks away, trying very hard not to wonder what Carmen said about the idea of having Julia for a girlfriend.


	5. Carmen's Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmen strikes a deal with ~~the devil~~ Rodrigo while Julia learns some cool facts about sharks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to all the folks who have been leaving kudos and comments. I've never gotten this level of engagement on anything I've written before and I'm incredibly grateful for it.

_This situation_ , Carmen thinks, _is starting to get ridiculous._

It’s not as if it’s hard to figure out why Jules is here. When Team Red assembles remotely to wish Carmen a happy birthday, the sight of Jules seated at Carmen’s side is met with a complete lack of surprise, and hints of relief. Player, who was visibly gleeful when he first tipped Carmen off to Jules’s planned vacation, looks smug; Zack lets out a “finally” that makes Ivy kick him; Shadowsan merely smiles slightly and greets Jules, but Carmen knows how to read him well enough to see his happiness. Carlotta didn’t need Rodrigo’s gasp to figure out the significance of Jules’s upcoming visit when Carmen told her about it, either, and even Claudio, who tends to not be particularly aware of people, has been asking questions with a knowing look in his dark eyes. The only person who seems at all unclear on what’s going on is Jules herself.

Jules picks up on Carmen’s clues, of course. They’ve always had a relationship built around indirect communication, hints and subtext and information omitted or concealed in every conversation. Carmen has gotten used to relying on Jules’s quick mind to fill in the necessary details to execute her plan before VILE can figure it out. What Carmen is now realizing, however, is that in trusting Jules’s reasoning, she’s overlooked the other trait that led Jules to become her friend — Jules Argent does not jump to conclusions. She tries not to make assumptions or rule out possibilities without strong evidence. So, while Carmen has been trying by every indirect means to make it very clear that she reciprocates Jules’s feelings, Jules has been conscientiously considering all of the other things Carmen might mean. It’s endearing, and Carmen would be perfectly happy to just keep flirting for as long as it takes Jules to finally rule out the other possibilities… but then there’s Rodrigo.

Rodrigo’s perception rivals ACME CrimeNet’s, except he’s monitoring for signs of _queer_ rather than _criminal_ activity. He figured out how Carmen felt about Jules the first time Jules’s name came up in one of Carmen’s stories, and he has no patience for Carmen’s delays. (“She came all this way to see you and you still haven’t kissed her? Are you really going to make her do _all_ the work? You are hopeless!”) Bringing Jules to meet him without at least warning her about his matchmaking tendencies doesn’t rank among Carmen’s best decisions.

Mamá does what she can, whisking both boys off to “help with the food” as soon as Rodrigo shows signs of trying to draft the rest of the team to help him. (“Isn’t it sweet,” he appeals to Zack and Ivy, “that Jules came to Argentina for Carmen’s birthday?”) She puts Rodrigo on toddler-wrangling duty when the assorted orphans and their other caregivers arrive, and intervenes to rescue Jules herself when Rodrigo still manages to fire off one too many indicative questions. But he persists, and Carmen is in agony.

In desperation, Carmen finally grabs Claudio — he has retreated, as he tends to do in large groups, to a quiet corner — and asks him to help Jules take a break from the crowd too. He looks at her dubiously, but sidles obediently up to Jules and tugs her sleeve, and Carmen is relieved a short while later to see the two of them have left the party without Rodrigo catching on.

“You need to stop,” she tells him. “Jules isn’t — we haven’t talked about… romance. Trying to get her to say how she feels about me, telling her how I feel about her, is just going to make her uncomfortable.”

“And you will do what, keep avoiding the topic?” Rodrigo shakes his head and clicks his tongue. “Carmen. You are being absurd. Stop being the evasive red ninja and talk to your ‘just friend’ like a normal person.”

Carmen sighs. “And if I say I will?”

“This week, before she leaves?”

“If you’ll stop trying to force the conversation.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Just stop before your plan backfires and you scare her off.”

“Done!” Rodrigo cries gleefully.

Carmen glares at him and turns deliberately away.

Carmen doesn’t favor the direct approach. Her thief’s training is too deeply entrenched in her mind: misdirect the mark, draw their attention away from your actual target, overwhelm their senses, and get out before they figure out what you’ve done. She can flirt with Jules to distract from a heist in progress, to confuse her long enough to keep one step ahead, or to defuse a tense conversation. But actually opening up to her, admitting that the flirtation has been masking feelings that make the cocky, self-assured Carmen Sandiego terrifyingly vulnerable? That’s a very different thing. One that Carmen will now have to do. Damn Rodrigo.

Jules and Claudio are holed up in Claudio’s room when Mamá announces that it’s time to eat, and a younger child (Laura, Carmen thinks her name is, but there are so many names she still has trouble with them) has to be sent to call them. They emerge cheerful, still chatting in short, clumsy sentences… about sharks. Claudio must have found some way to share information about his greatest passion despite the language barrier.

“He asked me to help him practice English,” Jules explains when Carmen asks her what they’ve been up to.

“By reading shark facts together?” Carmen guesses.

“It was quite different from most language lessons I have had,” Jules says wryly. “But between English and Spanish versions of the same web page, a dictionary, and a considerable amount of gesturing, it actually worked surprisingly well.”

“I’m impressed,” Carmen says, and means it. “Bien hecho, Claudio,” she adds, because she really didn’t expect him to manage to entertain Jules for more than a few minutes, never mind actually befriend her, and Carmen definitely owes him for his efforts.

They have a normal, friendly mealtime conversation in which Rodrigo does not bring up Carmen’s feelings. The orphans serenade Carmen enthusiastically, and then Carmen opens her gifts. Jules got her a book, because of course she did, but surprisingly it’s on mythology — the character of the trickster around the world — rather than history; Jules goes adorably pink when she explains that it reminded her of Carmen. Rodrigo gravely presents a rainbow fedora “since you need to start assembling your Pride outfit — you are going with me, aren’t you?” Claudio wins the dedication award with a chart of red rocks and minerals, including details about composition and where they are found, from around the world. Various orphans have made cards. Finally, Mamá quietly offers a notebook full of letters “to Rosa,” written on every one of Carmen’s birthdays to date; just the first brings tears to Carmen’s eyes, and she carefully closes it to look at later.

The main orphanage contingent departs shortly after that, shouting farewells and well-wishes. Jules insists on helping to clean up, and is allowed to wipe the dishes as Rodrigo washes them. Carmen, forbidden to help on the grounds that it’s her birthday, loiters nearby to keep an eye on Rodrigo, but it’s not necessary — it looks like he’s taking their agreement seriously.

They’re relaxing with hot drinks in the mostly-tidy sitting room, and Carmen is just thinking that she’s going to have to drive Jules back to the hotel soon, when Jules hesitantly brings up the letters.

“I know this may be a painful subject, and it is not my business, but I couldn’t help noticing,” she says cautiously to Mamá, “that you call her Carmen, not Rosa.”

Carmen has wondered about this herself. She looks curiously to Mamá, who is frowning in thought.

“It is… complicated,” Mamá says slowly. “For years, I did not know for certain if my daughter lived, where she was or who she was with. I used to torment myself, trying to imagine who she was becoming, wondering if I would ever see her again, who she would be when I did. I suppose… in my head, Rosa is all the possibilities, the potential daughters I might have had. If her father had lived, if she had stayed with me instead of with him, if she had found me sooner. But Carmen is the daughter I _have_. Someday, perhaps, there will be no difference. But right now, there is. And it is important to me, to honor who she _is_ , not some false idea of her.”

Carmen, touched, looks at Jules, and realizes that the ACME agent is blinking back tears.

“It takes a good parent to see the difference,” Jules murmurs.

Mamá’s smile is melancholy. “I feared who she might become for too long to not celebrate how strong, and clever, and brave, and _good_ she is now. Some parents, I think, take their children for granted; I could never do so.”

 _Strong and brave, huh,_ Carmen thinks ruefully. _I guess that settles it._

She’s going to have to have that talk with Jules. Tomorrow.


	6. Find the Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cards and sharks help Julia and Carmen discuss their feelings.

Carmen is late.

Julia didn’t sleep well last night, too busy turning over the events of the previous day, trying to puzzle out what any of it means. Trying to plan for out how she’s going to handle a tour of the city with Carmen when Carmen is so _confusing_ all the time. Julia has eaten breakfast, even taken a short walk on her own, and now she’s back to pacing feverishly in her hotel room because Carmen is _late_.

(Julia knows that ten minutes — well, not quite ten minutes — isn’t actually significant in most cultures, but surely Carmen knew that Julia would be ready promptly. Surely Carmen should already be here. Why is Carmen not here?)

Julia is reviewing every moment of the day before, looking for anything she did that might have changed Carmen’s willingness to act as her guide. Maybe Carmen felt uncomfortable leaving to spend another day with Julia after being teased about her “girlfriend”? Maybe Julia said something that offended her? Yet when Carmen dropped Julia off at her hotel, their last words to each other were to confirm the time and place of their next meeting. Carmen wouldn’t have told Julia she’d be here if she didn’t intend to show up.

Maybe it was Carlotta, or one of the boys, who had objected? Carlotta had seemed welcoming to the last, telling Julia to come see them again whenever she liked. And Carlotta, who said she had adopted Rodrigo because “his birth parents could see only the daughter they wanted, not the son they had — and now they have neither, and I am blessed with my wonderful boy” could hardly be suspected of being uncomfortable with Julia’s feelings for Carmen. Indeed, Carlotta seemed to approve of Julia; certainly her assurance that Julia’s parents _ought_ to be proud of having a daughter like her suggested so. Claudio had hugged Julia goodbye, which Carmen had expressed surprise at, and Rodrigo had told her he insisted she come back at least once before leaving Argentina. There was no evidence that any of them would try to dissuade Carmen from spending time with Julia.

Maybe Carmen was worried that their approval would give Julia the wrong idea, or—

“Hey, Jules.”

Julia whirls around in time to see Carmen close the window behind her. Julia is at once immensely relieved and amused; of course Carmen would break in rather than knocking on the door like a normal person. “Ah — hello, Carmen.”

Carmen gives her a deliberate once-over. “Ready to explore, I see.”

“I already have, a bit. I am adjusting to the time difference,” Julia says stiffly. “But I look forward to a proper tour.”

“You’ll get it,” Carmen promises. “But we need to talk first.”

Julia’s stomach twists. “Talk about what?”

Carmen looks down uncomfortably, seemingly considering what to say. After a moment, she sits at the room’s small table, gesturing for Julia to take the place opposite her, and pulls out… a deck of cards?

“You know Three-card Monte?” Carmen asks, flicking through the cards as she speaks.

Julia has definitely heard of it, but she’s so thrown by the change of subject that she can only sputter. “I — I’m not sure—”

Carmen holds up a card: the queen of hearts. “It’s simple. All you have to do is follow the lady.” She winks at Julia. “I know you’ve got relevant experience.” She turns the card face-down, places two other cards beside it, and sets the deck aside. Still befuddled, Julia tries to follow as Carmen shuffles the three cards around. Carmen’s hands are deft, graceful, and fast, switching the cards’ places so rapidly that Julia can’t be sure what’s happening.

Carmen stops. “Now. Where is she?”

Julia considers. As far as she saw, the queen should be the card on Julia’s left, but this is Carmen Sandiego at work. “I am not sure. But from what I know of sleight of hand, and of your methods, I suspect the answer is ‘not on the table.’”

“Not bad,” Carmen says, and holds up her hand to reveal the queen of hearts nestled snugly in her palm.

“I also suspect,” Julia says, meeting Carmen’s eyes squarely and praying to keep her voice steady, “that this conversation is not actually about cards.”

Carmen leans back until her chair tilts, fidgeting with the card in her hand. “What do you think it’s about, Jules?”

“It is easier to rule out answers than to identify the correct one,” Julia says. She’s shaking. “I believe, however, that the cards are a clue, meant to lead me to the topic of interest. You said I am experienced at ‘finding the lady,’ clearly referring to yourself; the topic, then, may be some aspect of yourself that you wish me to try to ‘find’ — or that you wish to remind me you still conceal.”

“I told you, I almost always have more than one reason for my actions,” Carmen prods. “What does that suggest?”

“A multilayered riddle?” Julia steeples her fingers, looks at the card that Carmen is now rotating slowly in her hand. “And you have two distinct roles, being both the card and the dealer. You manipulate events to conceal your objective… but the objective is in some sense also you?”

“You’re putting more thought into deconstructing this metaphor than I did into coming up with it,” Carmen teases.

“I presumed that you expected me to,” Julia counters. “Very well. I think the actual topic is…” she swallows, rushes on before she can second-guess herself, “why Rodrigo thinks I’m your girlfriend.”

The legs of Carmen’s chair thump to the ground as the ex-thief sits up straight. “Well. That’s… close enough.”

“Or is it whether I _am_?” Julia searches Carmen’s face for clues, but Carmen’s expression is carefully neutral.

“I think that would be your decision,” Carmen says shortly. She stands, starts pacing the same path Julia did earlier. “But we do need to talk about that.”

“Oh,” Julia isn’t sure what that means, but it sounds… not promising.

“The thing is,” Carmen falters, “I’m not exactly, uh, girlfriend material?”

 _Wait, what?_ “I don’t think I follow.”

“I’m a mess right now, of course,” Carmen’s voice is rueful. “But even when I get better — and who knows how long that will take — I’m not exactly the sort to settle down. Mamá says I’m like my father, that wandering is in my blood — she knows I’ll have to leave soon. I have to _travel_ , Jules.”

“Like an obligate ram ventilator,” Julia says, nodding.

“A — what?”

“An obligate ram ventilator. Most sharks, and most fish in fact, can breathe by buccal pumping — essentially, sucking in water and passing it over their gills. However, a small minority of shark species, as well as some other fish such as tuna, have lost this ability and can only pass water over their gills by swimming through it. If they remain in one place for too long, they suffocate.” Julia sees Carmen’s raised eyebrows, and adds, “I learnt some things from Claudio yesterday.”

“So I see,” Carmen chuckles. “All right. I’m like an obligate ram ventilator then.”

“I already knew that,” Julia says. “I do not want to — to domesticate you. You’re Carmen Sandiego, I would never want to change you. I just want… to be a part of it, I suppose.” She realises that she’s making declarations she still does not know are welcome, and breaks off, feeling her face flush.

“Are you sure?” Carmen presses. “It wouldn’t just be a long-distance relationship, Jules. I’ve lived as a fugitive my entire adult life. I’m not good at… keeping in touch, letting people know where I am, being _present_. That’s not going to magically change just because I’m in love with you.”

“Wait, you — you are?”

“That’s really not the point, Jules.”

“It is to me,” Julia is on her feet without knowing she’s gotten up, reaching out to take Carmen’s hands. “You’re in love with me? Really?”

“I never lie to you if I can help it, Jules.” Carmen’s smile is crooked. “Hide things sometimes, sure. But your trust _is_ important to me.”

Julia has to stop and concentrate on her breathing for a moment. Carmen is in love with her. All of those clues, all of the little moments she’s been puzzling over, connect in the way she barely dared to hope. Her head is spinning, and she realises she is clinging so tightly to Carmen’s hands that it’s actually painful. She lets go, steps back, and tries to focus. What does she need to do next? Oh, right, words.

“That is — that will be enough for me,” she rasps. “We can figure everything else out. Together. If you are willing, that is.”

Carmen, for once, has no witty retort. She merely wraps her arms around Julia, hugging her tightly, and murmurs, “I already told you, Jules — it’s your decision.”

Julia buries her face in Carmen’s shoulder, breathes in her scent. Grins. “Then I suppose Rodrigo will be pleased.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here](https://poseidonsweb.com/how-fish-breathe-ram-ventilation-buccal-pumping/) is my primary source of obligate ram breather information. Also, "Where in the Open Ocean is Carmen Sandiego" would have been a great educational game, I have to say.


	7. Chat Logs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmen makes life decisions. Julia is involved.

Julia knew, of course, that dating Carmen Sandiego would be full of surprises. Carmen is mercurial, spontaneous, and she’s never been bound by the same rules that most residents of the real world do. Carmen thinks nothing of showing up unannounced in Julia’s apartment and replacing whatever Julia’s plans for the evening were — usually admittedly “curling up with a good book” — with a whirlwind date, or sometimes an outing with Zack and Ivy. It never seems to occur to Carmen that Julia might have other plans, or tasks to complete, and Julia finds it both endearing and exasperating.

Carmen refuses to use most common communication tools, favouring a secure chat system designed and managed by Player over ordinary email or telephone systems, but she does set up access for Julia so that they can keep in touch between visits. Carmen’s messages are often simply cryptic clues to her current location, trivia that Julia often has to research before she can be quite certain where in the world her girlfriend is. The clues are regular, interspersed with out-of-the-blue compliments or expressions of affection. (“hey Jules! saw an elf owl today. did you know the elf owl is the smallest owl in the world? it was adorable, but you’re cuter 😉”)

Julia has never been a prolific texter, but she always writes back as soon as she figures out the location, and sometimes when Carmen doesn’t say anything for a while Julia initiates the conversation instead, until they fall into a pattern where they exchange at least a few messages almost every day. That, combined with Carmen’s visits and the occasional audio or video call when they are in compatible time zones, turns out to work quite well for Julia; she suspects actually trying to live full-time with the storm of chaos that is Carmen would drive one or both of them to murder, but with the intensity of Carmen’s affections balanced by the space and distance, they almost never have serious issues.

Almost being the operative word.

> **Jewels_Silver:** I asked, and my landlord refuses to give me a key for anyone who is not on the lease. 
> 
> **queenofhearts:** guess I just have to keep breaking in then
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** Or you could simply notify me of your plans, so that I can arrange to be home to let you in.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** not my style
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** I know. I just worry that there will be trouble one of these days. I do not think my landlord will accept “my girlfriend used to be an archthief, but it’s fine, she only burgles me now,” as an explanation if someone reports seeing your arrival.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** aw relax Jules
> 
> **queenofhearts:** you know nobody sees me unless I want them to
> 
> **queenofhearts:** besides your building security is a joke. the landlord should really work on that instead of trying to police the tenants
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** In fairness, I doubt many buildings have security systems good enough to keep you out.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** true
> 
> **queenofhearts:** but yours is still pretty terrible
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** I know. The landlord is more concerned with the safety of the units than of their occupants or the occupants’ possessions.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** which is actually kind of scary because there are vile operatives still at large who might want revenge
> 
> **queenofhearts:** really what you need is a new landlord
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** Finding housing is not easy here. Finding housing that is convenient to the ACME offices, will allow you access that does not involve breaking and entering, and is reasonably secure? I dread to think how difficult that would be.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** I have an idea
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** What is it?
> 
> **queenofhearts:** : remember I have a “trust fund”
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** …Please tell me you are not thinking of buying an apartment building just so you can visit me in “your style.”
> 
> **queenofhearts:** of course not
> 
> **queenofhearts:** a house would work much better
> 
> **queenofhearts:** or a duplex if Zack and Ivy live in the other half
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** Carmen, no.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** CARMEN YES!
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** First of all, this is San Francisco. Real estate here is impossibly expensive. Second, we have been dating for four months. Buying a house is a bit premature.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** a. vile is still footing the bill b. it would be my house and you would live in it to take care of it because I’m traveling
> 
> **queenofhearts:** c. it’s not like we just met
> 
> **queenofhearts:** we were friends for like two years before we started dating
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** : But you are always travelling.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** so I need a long-term housesitter!

Julia starts to type a reply suggesting that perhaps what Carmen needs is to _not buy a house_ , but then suddenly it occurs to her: Carmen is not discussing pouring her “inherited” fortune into the Bay Area real estate market just because Julia’s landlord won’t give her a key. Even for Carmen Sandiego, that would be excessive, especially since the alternative solution of Julia simply opening the door is still readily available. Carmen, as usual, is doing things in an odd, indirect fashion, and probably expects Julia to analyse her actions for clues to her true reasons. So Julia makes a mental list:

  1. Carmen wants to buy a house, or a duplex, in which either Julia alone or Julia, Zack, and Ivy can live.
  2. Carmen is willing to try to find this in the Bay Area, and even though Julia suspects Carmen does not really understand the value of money, this means it is important to her.
  3. Usually, if Carmen disguises her true motive, it is either for entertainment or because her reasons make her in some way vulnerable. (Or both. As Carmen reminds Julia regularly, Carmen rarely has only one reason for anything she does.)



Julia erases what she has typed and tries again.

> **Jewels_Silver:** I suppose that makes sense. If you truly want to proceed in this venture, I will be happy to act as your “housesitter” for as long as you need one. I am sure Zack and Ivy will say the same.

If Carmen Sandiego wants all of her family settled comfortably in a more permanent residence, Julia is certainly not going to stand in her way.

So it is that Julia, Zack and Ivy end up sharing a property, not in San Francisco itself (“even on VILE’s dime, I couldn’t stomach those prices,” Carmen admits) but acceptably close to transit that will take them there. Zack and Ivy have the main house, and Julia gets the smaller unit in the back, and Carmen has access codes for both. (“1215, Jules? Aww, that’s sweet.” Carmen smirks to make it very clear that she knows exactly why that year has significance for Julia, and Julia wishes they weren’t on a video call because she wants to kiss that smug look off of Carmen’s face. Long-distance has its distinct disadvantages.)

Unfortunately for Julia, the move makes her easy prey.

> **Jewels_Silver:** I have a problem.
> 
> **PoisonIvy:** thought u looked upset at work
> 
> **ZackAttack:** whats wrong jules???
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** My parents have decided that since I have a guest room, they should actually visit me for my birthday.
> 
> **PoisonIvy:** !!!
> 
> **queenofhearts:** and you don’t want to see them
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** They… mean well. But they never attempt to hide their disappointment in me. It is unpleasant.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** why would they be disappointed?
> 
> **ZackAttack:** yeah y? ur awesome
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** They consider law enforcement “too dangerous,” think I prioritise my career too much and “need more friends,” and as for my lesbianism….
> 
> **player:** Lemme guess. They think it’s a phase?
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** They continue to hope that I will meet “the right man” and forget about it, yes.
> 
> **ZackAttack:** well thats not cool
> 
> **PoisonIvy:** that sucks jules
> 
> **ElCidTrans:** carmen tenes k hablar con los padres de jules podes... corregirlos
> 
> **queenofhearts:** sabés que Jules aprende castellano
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** Entiendo y estoy de acuerdo con Rodrigo. You should meet my parents, Carmen.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** wow, Jules, I didn’t expect you to be ready for that
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** I have never yet introduced a girlfriend to my parents. I have not had many, and I always was afraid that they would be too hostile. But you have a talent for making people like you.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** the secret is to treat all new conversations as cons
> 
> **queenofhearts:** brothers please do not take this as an example
> 
> **pibetiburón:** Understood.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** the idea is, whatever script the other person has, I replace with the one I want
> 
> **queenofhearts:** so for example I would treat meeting Jules’ folks as, they obviously want their child to be happy, good thing she has someone who is super devoted to her
> 
> **queenofhearts:** and I would ignore any attempts on their part to divert into silly questions of her being not perfect because clearly the idea is beyond my comprehension
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** Please do this.
> 
> **queenofhearts:** sure, I’ll be there
> 
> **ZackAttack:** omg
> 
> **PoisonIvy:** ok I have to see this play out
> 
> **PoisonIvy:** bday party for jules in the main house?
> 
> **queenofhearts:** give us the exact dates and times, Jules
> 
> **queenofhearts:** we will destroy them
> 
> **Jewels_Silver:** …I am going to regret this. All right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This section was not planned but I guess Carmen really wanted to buy that house. ~~Can you tell I resent the Bay Area housing market?~~ Also, chat logs are weirdly difficult to write.
> 
> ETA: I've decided to explain a few things that can probably be deduced from context, just so you can confirm your deductions! First, the screen names:  
> Jewels_Silver = Julia, from her nickname Jules + her surname, Argent, meaning silver.  
> queenofhearts = Carmen, inspired by the whole Three-card Monte business.  
> ZackAttack = Zack, of course.  
> PoisonIvy = Ivy, who probably likes her some Batman villains.  
> ElCidTrans = Rodrigo, referring to the historical figure El Cid, with whom our boy shares a first name. Our Rodrigo, of course, is extremely out and proud as both trans and gay, so he was bound to include at least one of those in his screen name.  
> pibetiburón = Claudio, "pibe" being Argentinian slang for a child or boy and "tiburón" meaning shark.
> 
> Finally, for non-Spanish-reading folks (or ones who are confused by Argentinianisms/chat laziness in Spanish) the Spanish-language exchange translates to:  
> ElCidTrans: carmen you gotta talk to jules's parents you can... correct them  
> queenofhearts: you know Jules is learning Spanish  
> Jewels_Silver: I understand and I agree with Rodrigo.


	8. Tea and Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and Carmen prepare to greet Julia's unsuspecting parents.

Julia can do this.

She has a plan, a backup plan, and a host of tips from Carmen in case she needs to improvise. She has drilled every piece of potentially relevant information about her parents into Carmen, Zack, and Ivy, and even given Devineaux some pointers. (At Julia’s insistence, only Devineaux and Team Red are on the guest list; if this goes badly, she does not want it to become part of ACME’s gossip mill, and she has no local friends who are not coworkers.)

“You’re overthinking it, Jules,” Carmen insists. “Just relax. I’ll take care of everything.”

“I do not want to leave it all up to you,” Julia protests. “This is a chance to take a different role in my relationship with my parents. I need to be actively involved to make that possible.”

“You’ll do fine,” Carmen says soothingly. “Just remember: if they’re off-balance or confused about what to do, they’ll look for cues from you first because they know you. If you act confident and like everything’s normal, they’ll follow your lead.”

“You know I tend to hesitate,” Julia points out.

“You think before you respond,” Carmen corrects her. “They know that too. But you trust me, don’t you?”

“Implicitly.” Trusting Carmen Sandiego has never been difficult for Julia. She doubts it ever will be.

“Then show them that,” Carmen holds out a colourfully-wrapped box. “Rodrigo said to have you open this before they arrive, in case you need it.”

Julia obediently peels off the tape securing the wrapping paper and opens the box. The first thing that greets her is the familiar stripes of the rainbow pride flag. She is not surprised.

“He does know there are other designs, doesn’t he?” Julia jokes, reaching to lift out the object — a necktie, she realises.

“Sure he does,” Carmen chuckles. “He wears two different kinds of rainbow and the trans pride flag himself, and I’m pretty sure that’s a lesbian one there.” She gestures to the box, where Julia now sees that under the rainbow necktie is another. Julia recognises the design: five stripes, two in different shades of orange separated from two shades of pink by a white band. Carmen is correct; it is definitely a lesbian pride flag.

There are six neckties in all, two recognisable variants on the rainbow and the other four all, according to the note Rodrigo placed at the bottom of the box, intended to represent lesbian or sapphic identity. Julia does not doubt for a moment that Rodrigo has done his research, particularly as he includes the symbolism of the different stripes on each one. She is both taken aback and touched by his efforts.

“Which one should I wear today?” Julia asks Carmen once they have examined all six.

“Depends on whether you want your parents to know what it means,” Carmen points out. “The rainbow is an in-your-face statement, and this one—” indicating the orange-to-pink tie “—is well-known enough that they can look up ‘lesbian flag’ and find examples of it, but they won’t recognise it immediately. The others are, uh, less well-known.”

Julia considers this, and picks up the traditional six-stripe rainbow. Carmen’s eyebrows go up, but she smiles her approval.

Once the tie is on, Julia cannot see it, but somehow feeling that it is there, a tangible reminder that she is part of something more than her parents’ world, is grounding. She makes a mental note to thank Rodrigo properly as soon as possible.

The wait for her parents’ arrival is still nerve-wracking. While Carmen helps Zack and Ivy with the party preparation in the main house, Julia paces until her legs are sore and she is certain she must be wearing a furrow in the rug. Finally, her mother calls to say they are nearly there, and Julia goes to notify the others with a mixture of relief and terror.

“They say they will be here in fifteen minutes,” she calls through the door.

Carmen emerges, carefully blocking Julia’s view of whatever they have been working on. “Good.”

“I am panicking a bit,” Julia says, twisting her hands together. “Do I look presentable? Is my tie straight?”

“It’s not crooked, but I don’t think ‘straight’ is the right word,” Carmen laughs. “You look fine. C’mon, let’s make tea for our guests, shall we?”

Neither of Julia’s parents has ever turned down a cup of tea. More importantly, the ritual of putting on the kettle, setting up the pot, and selecting a variety is something to _do_ , and gives them a topic of conversation.

“How about an oolong?” Carmen suggests, holding out a tin. “I count four different types here, so either you like them or someone bought them for you as a present because you said you liked loose-leaf tea.”

Julia takes the tin — it is in fact her favourite variety, and she wonders if Carmen deduced that from how much has been used. “I did not realise you could read Chinese. Though really, I am not surprised.”

“I studied a lot of languages as a kid,” Carmen says, leaning casually against the counter and watching Julia measure out the leaves.

“Mandarin, I suppose?”

“And Cantonese. I’m little rusty with both these days, though.”

Julia opens her mouth to suggest that Carmen try her Cantonese on Julia’s parents — they both speak it, and they both have made enough fuss about Julia’s limited skills that perhaps Carmen’s ability will make them view her favourably — and the doorbell rings. Julia freezes, kettle in hand.

“Go get the door,” Carmen says, deftly taking the kettle and pouring a small amount of water into the teapot to warm it. “I’ll finish this.”

Julia takes a deep breath, pushes up her glasses and tightens her tie, and goes to greet her parents. _Do not think about it,_ she tells herself firmly. _Be like Carmen — focus on your goal and carry them along._ _No hesitation._

“Welcome, Màhmà, Father,” she says as soon as she has them in sight. “I hope you had an uneventful flight. Come in — let me carry that, Màhmà — and I will show you where you will be sleeping. There will be tea presently.”

“Flight was terrible,” Father says grumpily, following her. “Why did you have to move so far from home?”

“A career makes its demands,” Julia says primly. “Yours took you far afield as well, did it not? Here is the bathroom, and this is the guest bedroom. You can put down your bags here. Now, please come with me. I want to introduce you to someone very important.”

Somehow — miraculously — she must be channelling Carmen well, because they allow her to usher them into the kitchen, where Carmen has resumed lounging against the counter, eyes on the kitchen timer. She looks up when they enter. _This is it. No hesitation._ Julia looks at Carmen’s smile, warm and sure, and speaks quickly.

“Màhmà, Father, this is my girlfriend, Carmen.”

“So you’re Jules’s parents. It’s nice to finally meet you,” Carmen says, stepping forward to shake hands with first Julia’s father and then with her mother.

“Er,” Father looks caught off-guard. “Timothy Argent. Julia did not mention—”

“Didn’t she?” Carmen shrugs, as if it is of no consequence that Julia did not at any point tell her parents that she _had_ a girlfriend, never mind that said girlfriend would be present for their visit. Julia tries to look as nonchalant as Carmen does when her parents turn to look to her in evident confusion. It is possible that Carmen knows too much about manipulating people.

The timer begins to shrill, and Julia, who hates the sound and keeps meaning to replace the device, hurries to remove the tea strainer and hold it so that the last few flavourful drops fall into the pot. Carmen takes this as her cue to move forward and guide Julia’s parents into the living room, and Julia takes advantage of the moment of solitude to take a few deep breaths. She has done the hardest part. Now she just has to follow Carmen’s lead, as she has done so often before.

When Julia enters the living room, carrying the teapot and cups on a tray like a shield before her, she sees her parents seated, somewhat stiff but not overtly hostile, across from Carmen, who is seated half-sideways on the couch. Julia pours tea for each of her parents first, then for Carmen, and finally for herself, focusing on the task to avoid being drawn into the conversation.

“So, Carmen,” Màhmà sounds more awkward than Julia thinks she has ever heard her. “How did you meet Julia?”

“We just kept running into each other at work,” Carmen says.

“You are also in… law enforcement?” Father asks, looking sceptical.

“I’m a civilian expert,” Carmen grins. “Jules was the first person in law enforcement I could actually work with.”

“What is your area of expertise?” Father presses.

“Oh, I’m a reformed thief,” Carmen says casually. “Thanks, Jules,” she adds, accepting her tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pride flag notes: the two rainbow flags are the common six-color all-purpose pride flag and the original eight-color one designed by Gilbert Baker; see [this page](https://www.pride.com/pride/2018/6/13/complete-guide-queer-pride-flags-0#media-gallery-media-2) for that one. As for the lesbian flags, refer to [this wiki](https://lgbt.wikia.org/wiki/Lesbian_flag) for details; Rodrigo, of course, has no love for the "lipstick" lesbian flag, even if it were suitable for Julia.
> 
> This is another section that ran away from me; I meant to get to the actual birthday party but instead you get important information about tea-making, presumably taught to Carmen by Shadowsan. Remember, kids: always warm the pot before filling it with hot water!


	9. Party With the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia's parents meet Carmen's family. Devineaux is also there.

_This whole business is going unexpectedly well_ , Julia thinks.

By the time they finish their tea, Carmen and Julia have a pattern: every time Carmen coolly says something outrageous, Julia smiles affectionately, sometimes voicing agreement or support. (Even if she is internally horrified, Carmen’s fearless disregard for any inconvenient conventions or norms has always been one of her most attractive traits as far as Julia is concerned.) Julia’s parents, increasingly confused by both young women’s behaviour, are soon happily answering any questions that Carmen asks about their lives rather than interrogating her or Julia and risking another “turns out when you’re raised by a criminal organization called the Villains International League of Evil, moving to the real world is a culture shock.”

The strange part is that Julia’s parents, while obviously disoriented, seem to be enjoying the conversation. Carmen is good at drawing people out, Julia knows, but she is still impressed to see her stiff, formal father smiling while he recounts tales from his boyhood. Màhmà talks less and watches more, but even her normal sharpness softens in the face of Carmen’s unrelenting charisma. Julia’s role in the conversation is mostly to support Carmen (and receive a truly ludicrous number of compliments; Carmen evidently wants there to be no question how highly she regards Julia) and Julia is perfectly happy with that.

They make their way to the party only when Zack knocks on the door to summon them. Julia knows the decoration will be excessive, but she is not prepared for the sight that greets her when she pushes the door open. There is a giant banner reading “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULES” in sparkling letters. There is a table full of far too many snacks. There are streamers hanging from every location they could possibly be affixed to. There are bunches of balloons. Lively music is playing. It is a ridiculous amount of decoration for a party of seven people.

Player beams at Julia from the giant television screen on the wall. That, she expected — Player is almost always present when Carmen, Zack, and Ivy are gathered together. She is somewhat surprised, however, to see that there are other remote attendees: Carlotta, Rodrigo, and Claudio wave at her from a somewhat grainy image beside Player, and below them Shadowsan gives his unnerving slight smile. Carmen’s whole family has turned out to support Julia — or perhaps to witness the show.

There is a chorus of greetings and “happy birthdays” from the assembled group. Devineaux bounds forward to introduce himself to Julia’s parents, and Julia decides it is a good time to let Carmen manage them and slips away to thank Rodrigo for his gift. (He is delighted to see her wearing it, and promptly treats her to an impromptu lecture on the history of the flag.) Then Shadowsan gravely expresses his well-wishes, and Player adds his, and Julia is soon drawn into conversation with all of the remote guests. By the time Julia decides she needs to check on her parents, she discovers them listening to Zack and Ivy contradicting each other as they describe one of Carmen’s many heists. Julia wonders if she should intervene, but her parents actually appear to be amused by the gumshoes’ antics, so she keeps her distance. Carmen is watching them, anyway.

The party goes smoothly, somehow. Perhaps Carmen’s constant gentle manipulations keep everyone on track, or perhaps Julia’s ACME friends are truly exerting themselves, but either way Julia’s parents seem to enjoy themselves. After Devineaux, Zack, and Ivy have dominated them for a while, Carmen introduces them to Player, as well as to Carlotta and her sons. (Shadowsan has already left, citing time zones.) Carlotta, who Julia suspects Carmen coached, exclaims over how proud they must be of their daughter’s achievements, and talks about her own children with a fierce love shining through even the poor-quality video feed. Rodrigo, with the subtlety of a brick, expresses his joy at his sister having someone who makes her so _happy_. Claudio says very little, but nods seriously in agreement at that. Player praises Julia’s intelligence and resourcefulness. It is embarrassing, but Julia knows the purpose of this part of the con: if “Julia is wonderful” is the dominant opinion in the group, her parents will feel pressure to agree with it, and will be less likely to judge her harshly.

Carmen is in the middle of everything, prompting people to share stories or opinions, ensuring that Julia’s parents are well supplied with snacks and drinks, and generally playing the perfect hostess. Furthermore, Carmen’s praise for Julia is the most frequent of all, and it is always accompanied by a smile and a brief, affectionate touch. Julia knows it is largely for her parents’ benefit — they watch every time — but it is pleasant, still, to be doted on this way.

It’s not until the next morning, while Carmen is preparing breakfast for them, that Màhmà draws Julia aside, switches to Cantonese, and raises a topic that Julia was not prepared for.

“An _actress_?” Julia repeats, incredulous. Her Cantonese must be rustier than she realised. Màhmà cannot seriously have said that.

“Clearly, that’s not the case,” Màhmà says, apologetically. “But I did wonder, at first. We have had… differences, after all, and I would understand why you might feel that you need to assert yourself, particularly after your failed career change—”

“I did not fail!” Julia cries. “I chose to leave law enforcement, and then circumstances changed and I chose to return. I was doing quite well as an academic!”

“I simply mean,” her mother continues, “that it’s the sort of choice you might feel you had to defend yourself over.”

Julia draws a deep breath. “Why in the world would I hire an actress to pretend to be my girlfriend?”

“I assure you, I’m real,” Carmen cuts in smoothly. Her Cantonese is a little slow, the tones over-exaggerated, but Julia is impressed.

Julia’s parents both stare at Carmen, speechless, for a moment. Then Father says, wonderingly, “you speak Cantonese?”

“Badly, and it has been a long time since I studied it, but yes, I know some.”

“Unbelievable!” Màhmà sounds dazed.

“You should give more credit to your brilliant and beautiful daughter,” Carmen goes on, as though she hasn’t yet again completely thrown Julia’s parents off balance. “If she needed to hire an actress to play the part of her girlfriend, she would ensure that the character’s story was simple and easy to remember, and she would certainly not cast me as a…” she pauses, evidently trying to remember the right word. “Bandit. Even a ‘white hat.’” (“White hat” is in English, Carmen presumably not trusting the literal translation to convey her meaning.)

“I apologise,” Màhmà says in English after a moment of stunned silence. “It’s just that Julia never introduced us to _anyone_ before, or even hinted at having a… partner. And you are an extraordinary person to not have mentioned.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Carmen drawls. “Be honest: would you have believed her if she _had_ told you about me? ‘Màhmà, I’m dating someone I used to try to arrest on a weekly basis. You probably won’t meet her because she’s always travelling.’ You would have thought she was making me up to shock you.”

Julia’s mother, surprisingly, laughs. “I suppose I did anyway! You’re right. I should apologise to both of you.”

“Quite all right,” Carmen says lightly. “I’m used to people having a hard time believing in me. For a long time, Jules was the only one at ACME who did, and as for civilians….”

“Is that why you resigned?” Father asks Julia suddenly.

“Nobody listened to me,” Julia’s hands clench involuntarily into fists. “Nobody trusted my instincts, or accepted my conclusions, no matter how much evidence I showed them. It was not about Carmen. It was about not being respected.”

Her parents exchange uncomfortable glances. Carmen moves next to Julia and puts a comforting arm around her.

“They know better now,” Carmen says gently. Julia wonders if she means ACME or her awkward elders.

“Yes,” she says anyway.

Father clears his throat. “Julia — I wish you had told us more of your life, this past several years. I learned more about your career progress and achievements from your friends today than I believe I have ever learned from talking with you, and that is… difficult.”

“I wasn’t sure you _had_ friends,” Màhmà says dryly. “They are… interesting people, but I’m glad you have found some who care so much about you. You struggled with that so much as a child.”

“And Carmen,” Father adds. “You are a _very_ interesting person. But you seem to have a positive influence on Julia. She is more confident and, I think, happier than I have seen her in a long time.”

Carmen grins. “I’m glad you approve.”

“Oh, I don’t know about approve,” Màhmà smiles wickedly. “Is this ‘white hat’ business a steady career, would you say?”

“Màhmà!” Julia protests. Carmen doubles over laughing.


	10. Carmen Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmen's healing process progresses slowly.

Carmen isn’t recovering as fast as she hoped to.

She knows it’s to be expected. She’s done her research — well, Player has done his research and sent it to her, and her mother has backed it up with her experience helping traumatized children — and she has to accept that healing from any traumatic experience can take years, and that she’ll never quite be who she was before. The nightmares, the flashbacks, will always be a part of her.

The terrible guilt, she hopes, will fade in time. She still feels awful about Gray, and sometimes she wonders if she should search for him, thank him for what he did for her, apologize for nearly killing him. But Gray has moved on, and he doesn’t want Carmen in his life any more; according to her research, that means she needs to let go and move on herself. Zack and Shadowsan both refuse to accept apologies for her attempts on _their_ lives, insisting that she’s not responsible for anything she did while brainwashed, and maybe someday she’ll believe them. Now, though, she lies awake thinking about Zack’s bewildered, terrified face when she kicked him, as she thought, to his death.

Team Red is still there for Carmen, in spite of it all. True, Zack and Ivy are busy with ACME training, but they continue to send her periodic reminders of their love and support. (Their love is mostly expressed in the form of memes and jokes, but she prefers those to serious conversations, especially about her feelings.) Shadowsan gives her space (or maybe he’s sulking about his screen name on the family chat being set to “Dadowsan” per Zack’s request) but he checks in periodically. Player is still the constant, grounding presence he’s been since she left VILE Island; he’s applying to universities now, so she knows he’ll be busier soon, but she doesn’t worry about losing him.

And then there’s Jules. Sweet, loyal, earnest, wonderful Jules. Carmen broke Jules’s heart and Jules repaired it herself and still let Carmen keep it. Jules loves Carmen completely, with a devotion that’s both touching and terrifying, because Jules is way too smart to not know that dating Carmen is a terrible idea, but somehow she doesn’t let that stop her. Carmen, after the first painful discussion, decides that the only way to handle the fear of hurting Jules is to make absolutely certain that, whatever happens in the long run, Carmen is doing everything she can to make Jules’s memories of their time together wonderful. So she showers Jules with affection in every way she can think of, makes time to talk with Jules when they aren’t together, and even undertakes to steal Jules’s parents’ hearts for her, because they somehow fail to see how amazing their daughter is.

(Meeting Jules’s parents backfires a little bit — Jules is in shock afterwards, and subsequently vents both to Carmen and to the wider group about her parents “liking Carmen better than her” and “suddenly acting like they weren’t homophobic [word Carmen didn’t think Jules knew] through her teen years” and “did it really just take introducing them to a girlfriend to finally make them _believe_?” Mamá has to suggest that they might have hated the dynamic they had developed as much as Jules did, and needed a face-saving excuse to back down on their past behavior, before Jules calms enough to grudgingly take the win. But Jules seems less stressed by calls with her parents after that, so Carmen thinks it balances out.)

Building a connection with her own mother, and with the brothers she didn’t know she had, isn’t easy for Carmen either. Mamá is good and kind and willing to accept Carmen unconditionally — which is far more than Carmen dared to hope for — but there’s so much lost time to make up, and they both feel the pressure of all the missed opportunities weighing on them. Carmen’s pain at what she did for VILE is echoed in her mother’s grief and guilt at not having somehow protected her from VILE to begin with, and that makes it hard for both of them to talk about the past. There’s a sympathy, an understanding between them, but that doesn’t stop the pain from resurfacing.

Befriending Rodrigo and Claudio is easier, but that takes a mental adjustment as well — Carmen feels vaguely guilty at first talking to Player about her brothers, because _he’s_ her brother, he and Zack and (sort of) Gray, and they all in some way earned the name, but Rodrigo and Claudio get it automatically. They are both clearly delighted to have Carmen for a sister, though, and the discomfort fades quickly, so that at least isn't a major problem.

The biggest challenge, once the initial shock of regaining her memories has passed and Carmen has begun rebuilding her relationships, is ennui. Carmen has been driven, ever since she learned what VILE truly was, by her mission to take them down; everything else was secondary to that goal. Now she’s fulfilled her life’s ambition and she’s barely an adult, and she feels… aimless. Like the obligate ram ventilator Jules called her, swimming through the open ocean just to keep breathing, no destination in mind.

She drifts around the world without any sense of purpose. She absorbs facts and experiences, dabbles in languages, meets people, and tries to tell herself that hers is now a quest for knowledge, but it’s all a little hollow without the thrill of the hunt. She drops in on Shadowsan, gets to know his new, quiet life with his brother and _his_ family. She visits Zack and Ivy, and Jules — the duplex, expensive as it was, is worth it for how easy it becomes to listen to the siblings chatter while cuddling Jules at the same time, in Carmen’s view. She spends as much time as she can bring herself to in Buenos Aires, getting to know her mother and brothers. But after the first few months, Carmen can’t bring herself to stay in one place for very long, even with the people she loves most. She gets irritable, or shuts down, or starts reliving the past too much. She has to keep moving. Keep moving, keep breathing.

“It kinda sounds like you’re having a mid-life crisis,” Player comments when she admits to some of this.

“The red sports car was a gift for Zack,” Carmen equivocates.

Player gives her a Look. “Hey, being directionless and confused is actually pretty age-appropriate for you. It’s just that most twenty-somes haven’t already had hugely successful careers. Oh, and they aren’t usually financially secure. Speaking of which, you should probably cut back on the fancy gifts. Between those and your travel expenses, you’re not going to be able to keep up your charitable donations. Even your funds are limited, you know.”

“What are you, my dad?” Carmen teases. “Fine, no more sports cars.”

“And no more real estate,” Player points out. “And maybe if you’re really itching for something to do, you should look for a job. There’s ways to _earn_ money by traveling around, you know.”

“I don’t think I’d be a very reliable employee,” Carmen says.

“Freelancers don’t need to be. They just need to deliver. Why don’t you go back into the theft-prevention business? Just because VILE’s out of the game doesn’t mean there aren’t bad guys to stop.”

So about a year after the defeat of VILE Carmen, with significant help from Player’s string-pulling, starts trying to turn the “white hat” business into a steady career. Jules knows some museum curators, and a few of them are willing to let Carmen dissect and rebuild their security systems, and that gives her connections to leverage to get additional work. She refuses, with a few exceptions, to work for private collectors; she doesn’t have to worry about the money, really, and she really believes that the world’s treasures should be shared with the world. Still, she makes some profit, and it’s nice to be using her skills to help people again.

She’s still bored.

She brings up the problem over a shell game with Jules. (Why Jules still agrees to Three-card Monte and its variants with Carmen, Carmen doesn’t know. They’ve been at it for a good half-hour, and while Jules can mostly deduce when Carmen has palmed the stone, she’s too easily distracted to ever catch Carmen in the act.)

“Perhaps you are trying to solve the wrong problem,” Jules says, taking her eyes off Carmen’s hands yet again. “Most people do not have a huge overarching sense of purpose to their lives. Looking for one may be distracting you from what you actually should be working towards.”

Carmen doesn’t have anything to say to that, but she quietly replaces the stone and lets Jules win the round. Jules _gets_ Carmen, and that makes Carmen feel things she isn’t ready to name.

Maybe that should be her goal.

She’s still working out her plan when VILE breaks out of prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're nearing the end, folks!


	11. The Lady Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmen throws a monkey wrench in Julia's plans. Again.

The one good thing about having VILE active again, Julia considers, is that she gets to work with Carmen again. Admittedly, usually the ACME agents arrive just in time to find the villain restrained and Carmen posing entirely unnecessarily nearby, so that their “work” consists mostly of cleanup and filling out the necessary paperwork. But Carmen usually turns up again later, either to “return the loot” or to “make sure the prisoner was secured.” Julia and Devineaux, often accompanied by Zack and Ivy, are almost always the agents sent to deal with situations where Carmen is likely to surface. Julia suspects that the Chief is concerned that agents less familiar with Carmen’s MO might react badly to her way of dealing with VILE, but whatever the reason, Julia is glad of it, particularly since it means that Carmen often ends up joining the team for an after-work celebration.

(They keep that part off the record; Julia, following Carmen’s self-description as a “civilian expert,” has started wrangling the paperwork necessary to have Carmen officially considered a “consultant” or special category of deputised agent, and she thinks the Chief has been pulling some strings in her favour, but Carmen’s actions are still technically unsanctioned. Approving of them on the record would most likely upset some of the more by-the-book agents on the force, who already dislike Devineaux for calling them “tiresome paper-pushers” and tend to regard Julia with a cool suspicion because of her association with him.)

Carmen, remarkably, seems to be mostly back to her old self, VILE’s reappearance forcing her out of her depressed slump. Julia was initially worried about Carmen’s reaction to having the people who stole her identity, her _soul_ from her, at large again, but Carmen seems mostly annoyed at having her hard work undone. (“ _Try_ to keep a hold on them this time, will you?” Carmen grumbles when she hands over the hapless Spinkick and Flytrap.) Carmen is not afraid of being brainwashed again, she says when Julia asks, because that backfired so spectacularly on VILE last time; Dr. Bellum will move on to other twisted schemes, and all they have to do is catch her before she hits on a good idea.

Actually, Carmen seems more cheerful, though her one-liners are more sarcastic than they used to be and her general attitude is more sombre. A sort of loss of innocence, Julia thinks with a pang, as though Carmen’s pure heart, after somehow surviving a childhood among supervillains, was finally tarnished permanently by her time as one of them. But she seems _functional_ , most of the time, and if she still avoids talking directly about her feelings, Julia at least thinks the clues point to a tolerable level of stability. And Carmen, too, seems to like that they are working together more often — “it’s nice to be swimming in the same direction again,” is how she puts it — despite what the work means.

For her own part, Julia is… _happy_. At work, she does useful and interesting (if not exciting) tasks with a team that generally respects and likes her. In her free time, she has friends — mostly through either work or Carmen, but friends nevertheless — she enjoys spending time with, and a pleasant space to retreat to when she wants to spend her time instead with a cup of tea and a book. Her relationship with her parents is strained, still, but they are much more respectful than they used to be, though they have started to make hints about how she and Carmen should think about their future together. And there are Carmen’s messages, calls, and spontaneous visits, brightening nearly every day. Julia thinks, on the whole, this is all she will ever want from life.

It’s that realisation, that really she just wants this to _continue_ , that makes her decide it is time to do something bold. She makes her plan, prepares what she will need, and waits for Carmen’s next visit.

Carmen, of course, turns up late.

Devineaux is down — knocked out by his own gun, as happens entirely too often; Julia really needs to file that complaint she’s been meaning to about how ineffectual their sidearms are — and Julia is disarmed and cornered, Tigress less than a metre away, when Carmen arrives. Julia is grabbed and swung through the air, to be deposited on a raised platform out of range of Tigress’s claws, and then Carmen sets to work subduing the VILE operative, leaving Julia to gawk and admire her technique.

“That was a bit more violent than necessary, I think,” Julia comments when Carmen has finished.

“She was trying to hurt you,” Carmen pants. “Cuffs, please.”

Julia pulls out her standard-issue handcuffs and drops them down to Carmen, who catches them and none-to-gently fastens them around Tigress’s wrists.

“I appreciate the protective impulse, but I do not need you injuring anyone on my behalf,” Julia says. She pauses, then adds, “er… Carmen? Would you please help me down?”

“Oh, sorry,” Carmen says, and swings deftly back up to the platform. She gives Julia a once-over. “Anything hurt?”

“I am fine,” Julia reassures her quickly. “Your arrival was perfectly timed.”

Carmen nods, wraps her arms around Julia, and lowers them both to the ground. She stops, gives Julia another once-over, and reaches out to adjust her disarrayed coat. Then, satisfied, the ex-thief turns and disappears into the night. Julia does not try to stop her. Tigress needs to be secured, and Devineaux tended to. Carmen will probably drop by later, and Julia can enact her plans then.

It is not until Julia is back at ACME headquarters, Tigress safely locked away, Devineaux revived and grumpy, and a mere stack of paperwork between them and a good job well done, that Julia discovers the problem with this idea. She reaches absent-mindedly into the lower left-hand pocket of her coat to fidget with the small box she has been carrying there, the box that is central to all her plans that she has kept with her on the off chance that Carmen will show up… and her hand closes instead around something flat and rectangular, something she definitely did not put there herself. She slowly brings it out and looks at it. It’s a playing card — the queen of hearts. She pats the pocket. It’s empty.

_Carmen Sandiego has stolen her own engagement ring._

“Chase,” Julia says, using his first name so that he will understand at once that something is wrong, “will you finish the paperwork without me, please? I will make it up to you, but I need to leave now.”

Devineaux’s eyebrows shoot up, but he reluctantly nods. “If it is so urgent, how can I say no?”

“Thank you,” Julia says, making a mental note to buy him his favourite pastries before she sees him again as a peace offering. Then she bolts for home.

Her commute has never taken so long. She is not sure whether she is grateful that this heist happened close to home — dealing with _this_ unexpected change of plans will likely be easier in a familiar setting — or to be frustrated by the delay. At last she is home, and she does not so much walk through the front door as hurtle.

“Hey, Jules,” Carmen’s voice is far too casual. She is sitting at the kitchen table, three teacups upside-down in front of her.

Julia folds her arms across her chest. “A shell game? I have already found the lady.”

“In my defence, I didn’t know you were carrying anything special in that pocket.” Carmen’s tone is apologetic. “But since you were… how about, if you find it, you can take it back and we can do this the traditional way?” She holds up the ruby-studded band, then places it under the centre teacup and lifts the others to show that they are empty.

Julia slumps, and sits across from Carmen, wondering what this means. She mutely watches the swirling cups and waits to find out.

“Where is it?” Carmen asks finally, releasing the cups and sitting back.

“In your hand,” Julia croaks. Is this a refusal? Or simply Carmen taking control of this conversation as she does everything else, by indirect means?

“You know how the game is played, Jules.” Carmen carefully lifts up the ring, holding it to catch the light. “Even if you still didn’t catch the switch.”

_Switch._

“I do,” Julia looks Carmen squarely in the eye. “It is your game. You decide whether to allow me the chance to win, or to take that option off the table — literally. But by now you must also know that for me it is not about winning.” She reaches for the cup to her right, not taking her eyes off of Carmen’s. “It is about the game itself — and playing it with _you_.”

Julia lifts the cup. There’s something under it, sparkling blue, but Julia still doesn’t look down. However beautiful the ring is, she knows it can’t outshine Carmen’s smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that I think concludes this story! Thanks so much to everyone who left kudos and comments and encouraged me to keep going; y'all are wonderful! Special shoutout to the folks who have been commenting on the individual sections as I've posted them; I've really enjoyed connecting with you and getting to know you a little bit over the course of writing this. Um. Check out my profile and consider joining my queer cartoon forum to scream about gay stuff with me more? Anyway, thanks!
> 
> (And hey if you just found this I still love comments, please don't think you're too late.)


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